Submitted by: Alan Tees
BIOLOGICAL Bill (well, it makes a change from barnacles) and I stood at the bottom, the TIDE went into SPIN CYCLE, foaming WHITER THAN WHITE. "OMO god", said Bill, "we are going to get covered in SURF."
To the left, PC, who was certainly not DETERGENT by the steepness (at least 90 degrees, COLOURFAST) of a thin PEERLESS LINE (DELICATES ONLY), was roping up to climb, ably belayed by Geoff.
The STARCH of our climb was a DAZling crackline, MANGLE your fingers into it, and continue up to a small PLEDGE (OK, OK, furniture doesn't count)! The crack above, which is somewhat AERIAL continues up slightly leftwards through the upper wall to the top. Magdalen Girls MS 12m, AT BM.
Meanwhile, the BOLD PC was HANGING OUT to the left, on a SHARP CREASE. The wind turned COOL, he was wearing shorts (Margaret suggested something about a BLUE BAG or a FRONT LOADER but I couldn't possibly include them in a CLEAN article such as this), and suddenly the weather went into RINSE CYCLE.
Geoff was WRINGING his hands, as the rock had become SOAPY at the bottom.
"Get up here ya big FAIRY", said PC, and he did.
Bio Bill and I were keen to PRESS on (being the IRON men we are) and we top roped a couple of unprotected lines (not that IRON you understand!)
"ThonWAVENEYSisgittinupsor", said Bill, who, like Frankie, is fluent in Ulster Scots, so we went hexplorin (this also could be Ulster Scots but I'd hae tae ask Frankie).