Rather, er, Silly Newspaper Report
|Date: 22nd May 2005
Submitted by: Pete Smith
This appeared in the Sunday Journal 22nd May 2005
If you happen to be walking up Shipquay Street this week and see men abseiling off the Richmond Centre or 30 year-olds skateboarding down the street, don't panic! It's not that Angelina Jolie is waiting at Shipquay Gate and they are all trying to beat each other to the finishing line. They're merely gratifying themselves having found for their entire species, a new definition.
Us ladies are all familiar with lost boys syndrome and have tried in vain to nurture our guys over the years so that they won't feel as lost. How often they have stood there with confused eyes as they swear they knew nothing about cleaning the toilet. This was in the very early stages of male definition you see. Aptly titled: "I'm a man and that's all I have to say about that."
Then we moved to the 'metrosexual' phase, where not only were our men happy to lend a hand and even purchase pot pourri for the aformentioned bathroom, but the cabinet was weighed down with most of their toiletries.
We had men's moisturiser, nightcream, wrinkle cream and in a few rumoured cases even tinted moisturiser. (They know who they are!) Although we were glad that the guys had decided to follow our lead and at least try their hand at multi-tasking (regular skin routine plus daily household chores plus life), we did feel a bit afraid.
I mean, give me your modern man any day but I still prefer to come home to someone who's sacrificed the moisturising routine and decided to get on his horse and drink his milk, or if he's not John Wayne and he's from perry get into his car of preference and go for a moody drive. Ruggedly handsome never goes out of style.
I am, therefore, delighted this week to know that the metrosexual man is on his way out. For a start, I like to have free range over the beauty counter in Debenhams without Joe from Ballymac standing over me.
Yes ladies, this week came the news that the increasingly self-conscious metrosexual has been replaced with the adrenosexual.
Defined by their healthy relationship with fear and love of action outside the gym, the Adrenosexual is the new adrenaline urban warrior who gets his kicks speed carting, releases his tension by tightrope and works out his worries with wing walking.
One man who knows quite a bit about extreme sports is Pete Smith, the architect of the Colmcille Climbers website calling all Derry people to participate in extreme sports.
Speaking to the SUNDAY this week, Pete said although there has been a gradual increase in men joining the club over the years, the increase hasn't been dramatic. Pete also came to a few conclusions about himself during the course of our conversation! "I started rock climbing when I was 17, but the main growth recently has been with indoor climbing where there are bolts and ropes, its really non-dangerous.
"The kind of climbing I do means that I could die, us people who do this have no fear...oh God am I an adrenosexual?"
I decided to give Pete some time to come to terms with his recent revelation. Meanwhile, I distracted him by getting onto the subject of other extreme sports. It appeared as if the recently proclaimed adrenosexual had no time for anything which wasn't truly macho.
"Surfers just sit there waiting for a wave to come in, I mean what's that all about. Snowboarding, well that's just skateboarding on snow."
In conclusion to my own extreme journalistic research, I have discovered that the adrenosexual male has no time for anything which doesn't mean risking his life. I wonder how far the species will evolve before they start taking life-risking measures like... cleaning the toilet and maybe even making the bed?
The caption on the photo is more embarrassing: